Feminine Wiles
by Ocean
Summary: A short little friendship story that shows Jou dragging Yuugi around town and Yuugi's desperate attempt to hide a secret he can't bear for Jou to know.


Disclaimer: Plain and simple. I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

A/N: I have no idea what this is. Just a scene that came out when I was trying to write a different story. It's all in good fun, I hope. Putting Yuugi and Jou together simply creates scenes that write themselves! I have no illusion of control.

- Ocean

**Feminine Wiles**  
_By Ocean_

The lazy swing of a Sunday afternoon rolled its way over the city, stirring the life back into the people and the trees. It wasn't a special day and that's why the people had emerged from their homes to enjoy the tranquility. The clouds flowed by without pause, white and full as poodles, casting diluted shadows on the sidewalk. A day for walking through the lush grass at the park, sitting for a picnic beneath the wide and knotted branches of a favored sycamore tree, spending time with a cherished friend or budding romance; it was days like these that were open for expectation.

Yuugi adjusted his newly acquired sunglasses, flashing the sunlight off the impressive UV blocking lenses. His hair was still damp because he hadn't been allowed the time to dry it, and as a result he couldn't keep from playing with it. He just knew it was going to dry funny – it was already going flat. He hoped the sun would act as a natural hairdryer for him, though it was doubtful. He wasn't going to be outside very long and he was irritated about this. His irritation resulted in Yuugi's incessant toying with his hair, causing water droplets to spray onto his glasses. He removed them to dry them off.

"Would you stop doing that already? It's starting to get real annoying."

Yuugi ignored the comment and dried his glasses on his shirt before putting them back on. "I can't help it," he said as his hand went straight back into his hair. "My hair's going to look _awful_ when it dries!"

"You're such a girl."

Yuugi frowned at his best friend. He was really one to talk about being a girl. Little sister or not, it just wasn't natural for a man to be that interested in dresses unless he was a fashion designer. Or…

"Jou, are you gay?" Yuugi asked with great enthusiasm.

"What? No! Yes! I mean no! I mean what business is it of yours?!" Jou floundered. Though he was one for spontaneity, he did better when he was applying it to others. He didn't handle sudden changes with any amount of grace.

Yuugi chuckled, satisfied with Jou's flustering for an answer. Several times he found himself wondering why a tall lanky blonde with a reckless attitude and a penchant for trouble would be such an amusing and endearing playmate. He was wondering this not two hours prior when the said lanky blonde had let himself in to Yuugi's apartment and pounded on his bathroom door, demanding that he hurry up with his shower and move his butt. It was times like these Yuugi wondered if the friendship was worth it. When Jou nearly avoided walking into a tree on the sidewalk by sidestepping in front of a beautiful brunette who, to be polite, _declined_ Jou's offer of a date, he decided it was worth the effort.

Jou gathered himself and fell into step beside Yuugi. He spread his arms wide with palms open and head thrown back as he absorbed the sun. "What a beautiful day! Don't ya agree, Yug?"

"Quite," Yuugi said, nodding his head and smiling at an elderly couple crossing the street. "Which is why I was wondering why you insist on sticking me indoors when I'd much rather be outside."

"What could possibly be better than spending time with me, your best friend?" Jou asked.

"Sun bathing, for starters." Yuugi tilted his head to the side and began ticking off on his fingers. "Flying a kite, roller skating, surfing, plotting against Atemu…"

"Okay okay, I get your point. Geeze, a man tries to spend some time with his bud," Jou grumbled. He continued grumbling about Yuugi's ingratitude, slowly losing his bad mood as the two came to a stop at the corner of the street. He tried not to cough as the traffic rushed by at speeds illegal in business areas, and settled into whistling away the minutes.

Yuugi sighed wistfully at a pair of teenagers harassing some children on the playground across the street. He turned towards Jou. "Seriously, Jou. Where are we going?"

Before answering Jou tapped Yuugi's shoulder lightly to indicate that it was safe to cross the street. Once he hopped onto the opposite curb he answered Yuugi's question. "We are going to class!" He thumped his chest proudly and almost hit a businessman who made a rude gesture in retaliation.

"To class. On a Sunday. In the summer." Yuugi frowned thoughtfully, then turned a horrified expression to his best friend. "You didn't!"

Jou grinned. "I sure did."

"Oh Jou, how many times have I told you that the classes offered in those city booklets aren't worth the money?" Yuugi whined. "You'd get better instruction at a preschool!"

Jou flung his arm around Yuugi's shoulder, pulling the shorter man off balance as he clamped him against his side. He ignored the resulting struggle for freedom. "Aw Yug, don't be so cynical. Recreational classes offered by the city can't be that bad." Jou laughed at Yuugi's pretentious groan. "Come on. This is gonna be something all guys should learn."

"I hazard to guess," Yuugi said after he pushed himself free of Jou's friendly headlock. He ran both hands through his hair to straighten it, with little success, and pulled on Jou's arm to get him to stop walking. "Look, I'm sure it's interesting and all, but I just-" Yuugi cut short at Jou's sorrowful expression.

"Please Yuugi? I mean, I was kinda hoping you'd come along." Jou, for his part, managed to look sheepish. "I'm kinda embarrassed about doing this by myself."

Yuugi was stunned into stillness. "You… _embarrassed_?" His brows furrowed incredulously. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

"Us."

"_Us_?!"

Jou's cheeks colored as he bowed his head away from Yuugi and started walking again. He picked up his pace when Yuugi tried to run ahead of him and steal a peak at his face. "You know how it is," he said quickly. "What people our age are doing and all. I just… I want to do it to, ya know?"

"Jou," Yuugi said, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. Spill it already!"

"Ahhrgh!" Exasperate, Jou raised his hands by his head in surrender. "Alright! I give! I signed up for a knitting class and I started to chicken out so I signed you up too and this morning I ran over to your house to grab you to make myself go!"

"Knitting… class? You mean an actual… knitting class?" Yuugi couldn't hold back any longer and broke into a hysterical fight of laughter. Several people meandering on the sidewalk stopped and formed a circle around the two friends, thinking that perhaps they were street performers.

Jou spun in place while looking for an escape route from his humiliation. Finding all avenues cut off by a group of people looking at him peculiarly he decided to reel on Yuugi instead. Lunging forward, he charged and missed when Yuugi ducked away. Still bent double laughing, Yuugi had no grace whatsoever and tripped over his own feet, falling back into the crowd. A group of college students caught him on his way down and pushed him back towards Jou, finding the moment right to start the ceremonial chant. "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

Jou caught Yuugi on the rebound and nearly fell over himself, earning a chorus of 'Whoas!' from the crowd. Yuugi took the opportunity to disengage from Jou and start running halfheartedly in the circle that had been created around them with Jou chasing after him. They circled a few times while exchanging taunts and insults before Yuugi spied a week spot in the circle and darted through it, grabbing Jou's wrist as he did so. The crowd was disappointed, but the college students applauded. Yuugi waved cheerfully to them as the crowd dispersed.

"You're a cruel man Yug," Jou griped. He was back to walking normally, no longer in a futile pursuit of revenge.

Yuugi snickered and punched his best friend lightly in the shoulder. "You need to learn to relax and enjoy the moment," he said. "Not everything is about you, you know."

"It ain't?" Jou winked and decided to let the matter drop.

"Knitting class," Yuugi said, a hint of wonderment in his tone.

"Yep." Jou took a moment to preen himself for class in a highly reflective store window.

"Why knitting class?" Yuugi continued. "I would've thought that, if anything, you'd go for something more… more _manly_, I guess."

"There's something wrong with a man learning how to knit?" Jou asked.

"No," Yuugi said. "There's something wrong with _you_ learning how to knit."

Jou chased Yuugi for the next block and a half in defense of his manhood.

Having to look around to see where he was after spending so much of his time chasing Yuugi, Jou stopped at the next street corner and considered the signs. Yuugi had gotten him all turned around with his teasing.

Yuugi spun in place to take note of his surroundings. He froze when his eyes fell upon a particular store. Looking around desperately, he hopped up and down a few times before dashing over to Jou's side. "Figure out where we need to go next?" he said quickly.

"Yeah, I think so," Jou said, stroking his chin. He pursed his lips and looked down at his hyper friend. "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing!" Yuugi shouted. This did little to convince Jou. "I'm just really starting to think that this knitting thing is a good idea and I don't want us to be late!"

Jou considered this statement and came to the conclusion that it was a lie. He turned his back to Yuugi and began scanning the area. "Alright, what did you see that I'm not supposed to see?" He started to cross the street.

"Don't!" When Jou gave him the patented 'you need to do better than that' look, Yuugi rushed forward and grabbed at Jou's arm. "We-we're gonna be late! I don't think that's the way."

"Poor Yuugi," Jou said, patting him on the head and continuing to the other side of the street.

Mortified, Yuugi followed after him. His only hope was that Jou wouldn't be able to recognize what he had seen. As Jou approached each store for inspection, Yuugi bit his lip and wrung his hands until Jou moved on to the next store. He then reluctantly followed him, all the while trying to come up with a plausible excuse for them to leave the block. He tried mentioning that a favorite food stand was having a tremendous sale, but Jou was too interested in Yuugi's embarrassing secret to consider food. Yuugi lost all hope and resigned himself to the inevitable.

"Well," Jou finally said, standing with his hands on his hips. "I don't see anything here that would get you all wound up like that." He turned around and looked suspiciously at Yuugi. "You weren't playing a joke on me, were ya?"

Yuugi perked up at the lifeline. "Yes! A joke! It was all a joke!" He calmed himself down lest he give himself away. "It was so easy to get you going earlier that I just couldn't resist it." He laughed, albeit a bit uncertainly, and waited.

Jou stared at Yuugi for a long moment. He grinned. "Ha! Good one, Yug," he said. "You really had me going there." Jou clapped Yuugi on the back and turned his attention towards finding his knitting class.

Yuugi released a harsh breath. That had been _way_ too close. He was just about to catch up with Jou when someone exited the shop to his right.

"Aibou? What are you doing here?"

If a small gust of wind had chosen that moment to waltz down the street, Yuugi would have fallen right over and let it pass. As it was, he stared wide-eyed at his yami. He just stood there, staring, and it was beginning to unnerve the older man. Furrowing his brows, he made a motion as to speak.

"Are you-"

"No!" Yuugi said suddenly, springing out of his stupor and pushing the man back into the shop. "Shh! He'll see you Atemu!"

Stumbling backwards, Atemu couldn't fathom what his aibou was on about now. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to go to the store? "Who'll see-"

"Ack!" Yuugi yelped, pushing Atemu harder and causing him to bump into another customer in the store. "He's coming back! Go! Hide!"

Rather than risk another particularly prudent shove, Atemu sighed and made his way around one of the display stands. The resulting disapproval caused him to go to the back of the store and sit, well out of view. If anyone thought Yuugi was an easy person to handle on a daily basis Atemu would have politely directed their attention to the fact that Yuugi's mood swings were often, sudden, drastic, dramatic, and altogether confusing, and not something that any sane person would be able to cope with. Which was probably why he and Yuugi worked so well together. Atemu had never been accused of being completely sane, after all. He surrendered himself to the moment and picked up a magazine. Oo, it was the new issue of _Hair Care Weekly_ he'd been waiting for…

Meanwhile, Jou had come back to find Yuugi standing in the doorway of the store, holding the door open and gesturing… well, gesturing _something_ toward a display stand that, apparently, had offended him. He considered if it was wise to disturb Yuugi, but decided to throw caution to the wind and kicked Yuugi's shoe. He was happy with Yuugi's falling into the door and squeal of surprise.

"Hey Yug?" Jou asked. "What'cha doing?"

"Jou!"

Jou blinked. He thought that fact would have been obvious by now.

"I-I just thought I saw someone I knew. Yes, someone I knew. Thought I saw, I mean. But I didn't. So we should go!"

Jou shrugged in agreement. It was the easiest answer to give when you didn't know what answer to give to Yuugi. Anything else might result in mental harm. "Whatever you say pal."

"Yes, good," Yuugi nodded. He waited until he and Jou were halfway down the block. "Oh shoot!" he said. "I think I dropped my glasses back there. You keep walking, I'll just be a minute!" He turned on his heel and ran.

"But Yuugi!" Jou sighed, slapping his face. "You moron," he muttered, "you're _wearing_ your glasses." Jou wasn't too discouraged, however. He had a better chance of getting the two red-heads's attention he spotted up the way without anyone to cramp his style. He puffed up his chest, put on his best grin, and marched triumphantly towards his doom.

Yuugi barged into the store, nearly knocking the little bell above the door off with the force of his entry, pushed his way to the back and came to a gloriously ungraceful seat at Atemu's side. He was serenely ignored as he panted with his legs crossed and head down in his lap. Once he remembered that to breath one most both inhale _and_ exhale, he was nudged lightly in the ribs. Yuugi looked up and at the page Atemu was showing him.

"We should try that sometime," Atemu said.

Yuugi considered the picture and agreed with Atemu that cleaning their backyard was indeed an act worth trying. He laid his head on Atemu's shoulder. "I'm sorry about earlier," he whispered.

"Not like I'm not used to it," Atemu said stoically, keeping his attention on his magazine. "And I don't want to know," he said, interrupting Yuugi just as the younger had begun to open his mouth.

Yuugi frowned at the brush-off and took revenge by grabbing the bag around Atemu's wrist a little roughly and peering inside. "So did you get it?" he asked while rummaging.

"Yes I got it." Atemu had to move his leg so a woman could get down the aisle. "Look, shouldn't you be running along now?" he asked, irritated by Yuugi's intense inspection of the bag's contents. He pulled the bag out of Yuugi's reach and looked at him pointedly. "Go on. Shoo."

"Some romantic you are," Yuugi griped as he got up. A wave of the hand was the only response. "You could have at least commented on my hair." He flipped his now dry hair over his shoulder and began to march proudly away.

"You're such a girl sometimes, aibou."

Yuugi turned and fumed at the man on the floor who hadn't even had the decency to look up as he delivered the insult. Not willing to be angry at someone who wasn't looking at him Yuugi left Atemu to his reading with a parting, "Maybe Jou's right. Learning how to knit might be a good thing after all."

Atemu ignored him. Mundane threats were a regular with Yuugi, and really were just a way for him to cover the fact that he had no better comeback at the moment. Anyway, it was time for him to leave. He put the magazine back on its rack, having read all the interesting articles while on the floor, and got up to go home. He didn't want to be stuck carrying around a pink can of pink, non-fragranced, gentle formula shaving cream all day. It wasn't his fault Yuugi preferred a shaved chest to a waxed one.

_-End_

I am suitably embarrassed by this.


End file.
